


autumn love

by farquaad



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Autumn, Depression, Fluffy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Not youtubers, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 07:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20944673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farquaad/pseuds/farquaad
Summary: Dan's mood changes with the weather. That's why fall is always the hardest.





	autumn love

Dan's mood changes with the weather. That's why fall is always the hardest.

One might assume that winter would be the worst, but that's far from the truth. The sun rising over snowy pastures, the rays of golden light glimmering off the rolling waves of freshly-fallen snow, the growing feeling warmth and joy and holiday cheer in Dan's chest. He lived for it.

When he could look up and see small flurries of snowflakes begin to tumble from the clouds - free, limitless, whimsical. When he could look out his window in the morning and see a dusting of powder on the pavement below his apartment - composed, grounded, at peace.

Wintertime could be a rollercoaster, but it was better than autumn.

Dan hated that such a pretty word brought such feelings of distaste. But he couldn't help it.

On the days it wasn't wet and rainy, it was suffocatingly bleak. As the leaves began to shrivel up and fall, so would Dan's mood. There was something about watching the flora die around him that ate at his soul.

At least in the wintertime, he would get a bit of a break, a sunny day here and there to melt all the snow. But fall was ruthless.

So that's why Dan, always being one for theatrics, found himself wandering around a graveyard on a chilly October morning.

Dan spent a lot of time at the graveyard. Not a _concerning _amount of time, but enough that he had become acquainted with the place. He dragged his feet through the damp brown leaves covering the ground and drifted over to one of the graves.

It was old and not very tall, placed near a cobblestone mausoleum. The grey stone of the grave was beginning to chip away and was discolored in some places due to decades of standing tall against the rain and sun. It had been worn down by the weather so much that the slight curve at the top of it had smoothed out to an almost flat surface. Dan ignored the metaphor and sat down on the grave.

He pulled the sleeves of his black sweater down over his frozen fingertips, then tilted his head up to look at the dark clouds that hung above the graveyard. He took a deep breath and tried to shake off the feelings of gloom and despair but he just couldn't.

He never could, not if it was fall.

He knew Phil would find him soon, not that he minded. It was nice how much Phil cared for him. Dan cared for Phil, too, loved him, but it was hard to express that on days (weeks, months) like these. But it was always nice to have someone to help shoulder the burden. A life partner to care for him and love him no matter what, even when his heart felt gravestone-heavy and his brain felt zombie-tired. When he felt... well, when he felt like autumn.

Of course Phil couldn't _fix _Dan, and would even argue that Dan didn't _need_ to be fixed. That this thing Dan had spent so long resenting himself for was just a part of what made Dan the complex, unique, remarkable person he was.

Dan was one of the few people whose mood changed with the weather. He often wondered if his body would catch fire when the Earth inevitably burst into flames due to global warming. That would be ironic.

Dan could still find (albeit dark) humor even in the worst seasons because even though his mood depended on the big man up in the sky, his emotions did not. He could still laugh joyously when Phil would show Dan the silly couple's costume he bought them for their friend's Halloween party and he could still roll his eyes when he found out that Phil ate all the candy that was _supposed_ to be for trick or treaters.

But even when Dan was laughing or smiling, if the weather was dark and cloudy there would always be a hidden heaviness behind it. 

“Contemplating again?” a voice came from behind Dan. He recognized it immediately and a smile grew on his face.

“Maybe. What are you going to do about it?” Dan replied, voice more lighthearted than he felt. Dan knew he would get there soon; Phil had a tendency to make Dan feel sparks of emotions he didn’t know he was capable of feeling on days like this.

“Join you?” he suggested. That only made Dan smile even wider.

Phil came into view then, wearing his blue corgi sweater and ripped black jeans. And... running shoes?

“You go for a jog?” Dan asked, scooting over so Phil could sit next to him. He didn’t comment on Dan’s choice of location - it wasn’t the first time Phil had found him sitting like this.

“Not really. Just took the normal path to get to you,” Phil shrugged.

They were silent for a moment before Dan sniffed and spoke up. “I love you.”

“I know,” Phil said, lacing his fingers with Dan’s, “I love you, too.”

They stayed like that for a few moments, Phil tracing patterns on Dan’s hand with his own and Dan looking at the sky, hoping uselessly for the sun to poke through the thick layer of clouds, even just for a moment.

Both men were drawn from their thoughts when they heard a light scraping sound.

“What’s that?” Phil asked.

Before Dan could answer, a black cat rounded the corner of the mausoleum, its claws clinking against the pavement.

“Oh thank god,” Phil breathed out, causing Dan to laugh.

“Were you actually scared?” Dan asked.

“Only a little!”

Dan was mid-chortle when the cat darted across the graveyard right in front of Dan and Phil.

“Great,” Dan said, “now we’re cursed with bad luck.”

“There’s no one I’d rather be cursed with,” Phil said, and Dan just laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> more people read my fics when you share them! you can reblog this on tumblr by clicking [here](https://farquaadphillywrites.tumblr.com/post/188204078680/autumn-love)
> 
> . prompts are always open on my tumblr. have a fun and safe halloween!!


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